Cheater...

vs

1-0
A fine miniature and a fine birthday present!

[16:51]DarkDouche: cheater
[16:51]phorku: bullshit
[16:52]phorku: what you cant see a mate in one how did you get 1290
[16:52]phorku: or 60
[16:52]phorku: you should be 800
[16:53]phorku: I play f7 attacks all the time. weakest square on the board. junior
[16:55]phorku: or check out my blog, 5000+ tactical problems
[16:55]phorku: maybe you should try it, http://chess.emrald.net
[17:02]DarkDouche: go, bother someone else pleas.
[17:02]phorku: whatever, learn some sportsmanship
[17:02]DarkDouche: kid, shut up.
[17:03]phorku: i'm 41 massengil
[17:03]DarkDouche: but behavin' like 13.
[17:03]phorku: no thats you
[17:03]DarkDouche: sure, think what u want.
[17:03]DarkDouche: but would you KINDLY shut up now?
[17:04]phorku: youre the one still talking, you have a projection problem

A Delicious Tactical Shot

I have seen a bunch of these in my tactical training. This is the first one I have seen in a real game beyond 3 ply.

White to move:

Channelling Paul Morphy

So I am playing this blitz game and the lights start flickering and the UPS starts beeping. Then it stops. Then music starts playing out of nowhere. It startles me and I realize that it is just the funky Sony hardware that turns on after every power outage... but the music, scary music in D minor. I don't own anything like that.

Then I realize that all the power is off but my computer is still working... and the smell... it smells like sulpher. This voice starts coming out of my computer speakers. "8 Nxe5!!" The voice is so strong I can see the exclamation points.

Me: But that drops my Queen!
Voice: Trust me the initiative will be ample compensation.
Voice: I didn't order the chicken soup I order the gumbo!
Me: WTF, how crazy am I hallucinating a hallucinating voice.

Tick...Tick...Tick
My clock is getting lower while I listen to the voice argue with himself.

Voice: Come on! afterwards we'll go have a shot and a friendly game on Bourbon street.
Me: WTF who is this? There's no bourbon street in Cleveburg that I know of.
Voice: It's your old buddy Paul I will move for you.

The scary music ends and the star warz theme starts up. And I am flying the x wing. Here comes the exhaust port.

Obi and Paul: USE THE FORCE LUKE!

Click...
The x wing disappears. I just clicked on e5...

Welcome to hell teammate

I want to give a special welcome to AllegroKnight my teammate on the OCL U1600 Kastled Kings.

Chess jones

The FICS server is down. WTF, where am I going to get my fix at? Just one game please... I'll never ask again... Just one more fix...